welcome

welcome to my life. i will sing to you. i will cry to you. i will write to you.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

poisoning pigeons in the park

every spring, i think of this song. i sang it for an audition lots of years ago, and it is very lovely.
it is necessary for you to watch this video. it may change the way you spend your Sunday afternoons.

that is all.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

its the end of the world as we know it

it seems an odd pick to resume blogging today. the air is heavy and smokey from the wild fires around the state, there is a somber heaviness about, there is a lump in my throat as i begin sorting through these memories... but here i sit.
its april 19. i have been just a little teary since i woke up. its hard to believe that the Oklahoma City Bombing was half a lifetime ago. i remember the sounds and smells and sights of that day as if it happened last week. i remember the fear and uneasiness that followed in the rainy days after that Wednesday. for me, the world changed that day. it wasnt because i lost someone close to me; though so many precious lives were lost. it wasnt because i felt the ground tremble at the time of the explosion; though i will never forget that feeling.
my world changed because, for the first time in my life, evil people were doing terrible things in a place not far from me.
i had watched bombs over Baghdad and Kuwait, but those places were far away and as far as i was concerned, those people were nameless, faceless casualties of war.
the morning of the Oklahoma City Bombing, i was in public speaking class. i was a sophomore in high school. when the ground shook at 9:02, we ran outside to see what had happened, the dense black smoke over downtown was just starting to rise high enough for us to see it. at that time, only a few of the students had cell phones, but those who did were calling family members and friends to make sure their loved ones were safe; several were later called to the office to find out that someone they loved, in fact was not safe or was still missing.
for several days following, every tv in every classroom was on every day in my high school as we watched recovery efforts, man hunts and broken hearted family members. those faces had names; the faces of broken people from my own city are images etched into my memory forever. they were not casualties of war, they were casualties of evil. i didnt have to watch CNN to see the destruction half-way around the world, i just had to drive a few miles down the road to see the gaping hole in the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building.
i dont watch the coverage on tv when they replay news casts remembering the events of april 19, 1995. i have only been to the Oklahoma City Memorial once. most of the time, remembering that day makes me just as sad as it did 16 years ago. some day, i will take my kids there and i will let them know about the lives that were lost and the people who were changed forever, but not any time soon. i hope to limit their knowledge of evil for as long as i can.

to the victims and families of the attack -- we will remember.