if i have learned anything in my life its this: things usually dont go the way you plan them. unexpected things happen, you know, 'the best laid plans of mice and men...' , 'but soft, what light from yonder window breaks...', 'et tu Brute?...', all those things that end tragically weren't expected to end tragically. but they did. and we are that much the wiser for it, right?
more often than not, when things dont go the way i plan for them to, i just give up. i was not born with a gene for tenacity. i was not born with a gene for confidence. it doesnt take very much for me to decide to quit (i think i have talked about that before).
sometimes my plans to change the world are met with opposition. ok, all times, my plans to change to world are met with opposition. i often fall on my face and am slow to pick myself back up. i have been falling on my face a lot lately. actually falling. on my face. on the ground. shut up.
im not so slow to pick myself up when i am actually on the ground, i was hopeful that if i got up fast enough no one would notice that i had mud all over myself. i guess its the times when we fall that we should look more closely at the places we are walking and the care with which we take each step so that we can avoid falling in the same place tomorrow.
its an interesting disconnect between getting back up physically and getting back up emotionally - maybe that is because when i am a mess emotionally i figure most people dont see it. it might be more important in those times to make sure i get back up -- instead of taking a little mud bath.
be careful where you place your trust. be careful where you place your feet. its important to know who is holding you up and which path you are on.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
i dreamed a dream
as long as you dont imagine susan broyles singing this song, we should be fine.
ever since i was but a wee tot, i had this entrepreneurial drive. i sold rocks, raked leaves and designed keychains all before i was 10. i should be independantly wealthy, but those ventures were not quite as profitable as i had hoped.
i am now the originator, owner, operator of vintage kitchen. my dear (yet, estranged) friend encouraged me to start catering and cooking treats for other people - i've been at it for about 9 months now and have had a few (ahem) learning experiences - but all in all, its been fantastic.
i always want to be a part of the next big thing - and heres how: my newest plan is this.... a vintage kitchen food truck. any person working would reflect a vintage image and the food would have a 'granny's-in-the-kitchen' feeling. (as long as no one refers to me as 'granny')
what do you think? if i had a food truck, would you follow me from hither to yon? would you eat my food and bring your friends?
there are a few very tall hurdles in my way, one of them has a dollar sign and several figures behind it - but im hopeful. im optimistic. **these are not words i use often**
ever since i was but a wee tot, i had this entrepreneurial drive. i sold rocks, raked leaves and designed keychains all before i was 10. i should be independantly wealthy, but those ventures were not quite as profitable as i had hoped.
i am now the originator, owner, operator of vintage kitchen. my dear (yet, estranged) friend encouraged me to start catering and cooking treats for other people - i've been at it for about 9 months now and have had a few (ahem) learning experiences - but all in all, its been fantastic.
i always want to be a part of the next big thing - and heres how: my newest plan is this.... a vintage kitchen food truck. any person working would reflect a vintage image and the food would have a 'granny's-in-the-kitchen' feeling. (as long as no one refers to me as 'granny')
what do you think? if i had a food truck, would you follow me from hither to yon? would you eat my food and bring your friends?
there are a few very tall hurdles in my way, one of them has a dollar sign and several figures behind it - but im hopeful. im optimistic. **these are not words i use often**
Monday, August 22, 2011
man in the mirror
if you know me well, you know that i am a michael jackson FAN. lyrically, musically, there is no one who even comes close to his artistry.
recently, i have been faced with several... we will call them 'opportunities', to examine the man (ahem. woman) in the mirror and honestly evaluate exactly what i saw.
i cant say that its been easy to work through some of the things i found in myself - the places i fail, the parts of me i hate, the not-so-endearing traits i have recognized. i can trace some of the roots of attributes of my personality to specific places in time, even to specific people.
some days it was hard to look in the mirror, and some days i didnt do it.
i have a strange habit of looking at one part at a time. if i am putting on eye make up, i only look at my eyes. if i am curling my hair, i only look at my hair. i seldom, if ever, look at the whole picture. sometimes i realize later in the day that i forgot one part or another and realize i dont look the way i thought i did.
it can be overwhelming to look at all of my faults and try to fix them all at once, i guess thats reflected in the way i get ready for my day-- looking at one thing at a time.
when i started blogging, i decided that i didnt want to use my blog as a soap-box or as a place to air my grievances - thats part of the reason for my haitus. i didnt have many nice things to say. i wasnt funny. i wasnt uplifting. i wasnt any of the things i hoped to be.
today im a little bit changed. im hoping that i can avoid criticism where there is not also compassion. im hoping that i can start to see my life as an opportunity instead of as a daily struggle.
recently, i have been faced with several... we will call them 'opportunities', to examine the man (ahem. woman) in the mirror and honestly evaluate exactly what i saw.
i cant say that its been easy to work through some of the things i found in myself - the places i fail, the parts of me i hate, the not-so-endearing traits i have recognized. i can trace some of the roots of attributes of my personality to specific places in time, even to specific people.
some days it was hard to look in the mirror, and some days i didnt do it.
i have a strange habit of looking at one part at a time. if i am putting on eye make up, i only look at my eyes. if i am curling my hair, i only look at my hair. i seldom, if ever, look at the whole picture. sometimes i realize later in the day that i forgot one part or another and realize i dont look the way i thought i did.
it can be overwhelming to look at all of my faults and try to fix them all at once, i guess thats reflected in the way i get ready for my day-- looking at one thing at a time.
when i started blogging, i decided that i didnt want to use my blog as a soap-box or as a place to air my grievances - thats part of the reason for my haitus. i didnt have many nice things to say. i wasnt funny. i wasnt uplifting. i wasnt any of the things i hoped to be.
today im a little bit changed. im hoping that i can avoid criticism where there is not also compassion. im hoping that i can start to see my life as an opportunity instead of as a daily struggle.
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