crazy little thing called love

with my 10 year wedding anniversary approaching, i have been just a bit nostalgic. hopefully, im a little better person, a little more patient, a little less selfish and closer to ridiculous in the degree of kindess i pour out on those around me (particularly, bub.)
i am the first to admit that im the last to speak on marriage, but you will read what i have to say and you will appriciate it. you will.
it has taken every bit of these past 10 years for me to realize that the bad things in my life are not ALL HIS FAULT. ok, most of them are, clearly, because im very close to perfect. you will understand that more as our relationship grows. anyway, for some reason i thought that i didnt have to try to make a marriage work. if you find someone you love (or like? eh. i dont know) then you get married-- and from then on, everything is happiness and sunshine. everybody loves everybody. except when they dont. cause sometimes, they wont. (to quote the good dr. seuss) and here is what i learned: you cant quit trying. its really easy to slip in to your life and go on about your business being cordial and somewhat friendly - but youre like that (maybe) with strangers. so i decided to be nice. a pastor friend of mine said this, "we must treat everyone with liberal and shocking grace and kindness." i figured i should try it out. it works well. huh. weird. its hard to be shockingly kind. im not very good at it. but i try.
4 or so years ago, bub and i were ready to punch eachother's lights out (on a daily basis, mind you). we had acquired two small children in a short period of time, which changed my work schedule - ok, eliminated my work schedule- and we were in desperate need of some help. we swallowed our pride and went for some counseling. we were asked this question, "what do you feel is the biggest problem in your marriage?" quickly, and somewhat accusatory, i blurted out, "sin. sin is our problem." naturally, the questions that followed were about details of this sin, which caused me to stammer a bit. we were given one week to process through this category of SIN and were to come back with a list. the next week came and it was time for discussion. bub went first. his was a good, honest list and i was feeling very validated. attention turned to me, my list. well, it was exactly the same as bub's list. i wrote down his sin. clearly not the objective. so i felt pretty stupid at that point. anyway, it makes for a good story.
we're still married. he still puts up with my less-than-kindness. i still put up with his sin. i expect that it will be this way for the next 50 years or so.

my affection for mr shakespeare is ever true, this is one of my favorites, it has always made me smile with bub in mind:
"Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined. Lawless, winged, and unconfined, and breaks all chains from every mind."