people

it has recently come to my attention that though i have a healthy disdain for people in general, there are a select few that i cannot imagine my life without.

last week i had lunch two times with one of my life-long friends and it did me much good. she knows me. she has loved me through every failure, every success, every heart break, every joyful moment --- every one since third grade. as far as i know (and misti, please dont correct me if im wrong) she has not judged or even disliked me. she was a bridesmaid in my wedding, but i wasnt in her wedding because i had a 4-day-old son with me on that day. i didnt mean to time things that way, i promise. i will always be sad that i wasnt standing by her as she repeated her vows. seeing her made me realize that i could, in fact, let down the walls that have been so carefully built over these past several years. those walls have successfully kept people out, and most of the time im glad about that. i guess i just didnt realize how inaccessible i had truly been until i realized how accessible i could be with her - the friend i had trusted with good secrets and bad; the friend who really did know me inside and out. its unfortunate that the short little lunch meeting we had last week was the first time i had seen her at all in the past 2 years. 2 whole years went by - and it seemed like only a few months. i should do better.

i have also become aware of the importance of people who encourage others. it helps when the person doing the encouraging is someone you respect. for example, if you are a writer, its more uplifting to receive encouragment from another writer that you admire. if you are a musician, you will probably be happier to receive kudos from a fellow musician than from a dog catcher. with that in mind, theres this lady -- shes creative, kind, encouraging, steadfast, brilliant, positive--- all the things i wish i could be -- and she is one of the people in my life that i value the most. she wont let me quit. she wont let me slack off. she wont let me be content with where i am. not that she always tells me to keep going or never give up (though she has told me those things more than a few times) -she shows me by the way she is living her life.

when it comes to heroes, these ladies make my list. my life would be incomplete without their role. at times, that role is smaller than others-- but it is never minor.