always on my mind

maybe i didnt treat you quite as good as i could have
maybe i didnt love you quite as often as i should have
little things i should have said and done
i just never took the time
but you were always on my mind
you were always on my mind

birthdays are odd little things, arent they? well maybe not for everyone, but they are for me. maybe because mine is so close to the start of a new year, i tend to get in a funk. because im funky.
**i promise this will be the last blog for at least a year that references my birthday.**

birthdays and new years cause me to look back on successes and failures of the past year and sometimes they make me want to be better, sometimes they make me want to give up and settle into my funkiness. this past year was fairly awful, if you want to know the truth. without telling you all the sordid details of my life i will just say "it was bad."
i lost some friends, i lost some loved ones, i lost some faith, lost some determination, lost some confidence (in myself and in those around me), i lost some weight - but i found it again- dont worry, i lost a dog, lost a whole bag full of purses - that was weird, just about mostly lost my mind.
im not exactly a glass half full kind of girl, but im planning for this next year to be better. it started off well with a zillion 'happy birthdays' from friends, neighbors and co-workers. i had dinner with my very good friend, and i got to hear from a girlie i truly never expected to hear from again.
we had a long talk (by talk, i mean text) and i cried. not a sad cry, but a thankful cry. shes always on my mind. every day. losing her friendship tore my heart in half. it was good to hear from her and see that all is not lost.

onward and upward, here we go.